Monday, April 8, 2013

'Perfect' Timing

We've all been through those times.
Those times when God isn't working as fast as we'd like.
The times when God seems distant, maybe even disinterested.

You've been praying for something that is taking longer than you think it should. You don't know how much longer you can hold on. You're about to reach the breaking point.

Your well-meaning friends tell you "God's timing is perfect", but you're calling B.S. 

Perfect timing was 3 weeks ago.
Perfect timing was before the debt became a millstone around your neck.
Perfect timing was before your marriage became an empty shell.
Perfect timing was before your teenager got pregnant.
Perfect timing was before you lost your job.

Friday night I was having a conversation monologue with God and my dashboard.
The space inside, once inhabited by hope, had been filled with apathy and maybe some despair.
Why wasn't God answering?
I opened up to God and all I got was radio silence.

I went to bed and got up early Saturday morning to head north to the Muskoka Mayors' Prayer Breakfast. As we drove up to Deerhurst, my mood was a mix of weariness, fatigue and despondence. 
We pulled in to the parking lot and made our way through the gathering crowd and towards the main hall. We took our seats and the morning began.

I was seated next to John. 
John works for Paul Henderson's ministry and as we talked I began to feel a stirring in my soul.
We were seated at one of the VIP tables so we were sent to the buffet after the head table. In the buffet line I bumped into a couple friends from Harvest Muskoka. As we connected over bacon, scrambled eggs and hash browns the stirring in my soul began to grow stronger still.
John and I talked some more as we downed our morning meals and still the stirring grew stronger.
I polished off the last of my eggs and was suddenly feeling alive again. 
Feeling up to some conversation, I sought out my Muskoka friends and made my way over to say hi. 
Conversations with Tony, Martin, Craig, Terry and Mike had this internal flame growing into a full-blown inferno.

The morning transitioned to the programmed part of the morning, so we made our way back to our seats and as I sat there I felt God speak to me.
*Think of whatever way God speaks to you that doesn't make you think I'm crazy*
After giving me the silent treatment the night before, God's presence was almost tangible.

It was as if he was saying, "You feel this? You feel fully alive. This is what I have for you, just trust me."

I don't know what the future holds.
I don't know what the next step is.
I just know God used those men on Saturday morning to speak into my life.
To give me a taste of what the future holds.
To breathe life into these dry bones.

God's timing might not be 'perfect' in our eyes.
We're going to go through some sh crap stuff where it feels like we're just praying to the ceiling.
There will be times you feel like God has clammed the door on your windowless room.

But I know he hasn't left us.
He hasn't forgotten about you.
He will give you just enough ledge to hang on to.
And, if you're lucky, he'll give you a glimpse into the good life he has created for you.

Just hang on baby.

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