Friday, November 6, 2009


Saturday Night Live asked: What is Love? DC Talk taught us the Love is a Verb. Well, I decided to look up the meaning of "Love" (the verb) in the dictionary: "to have love or affection for." (I didn't think you could use the word to define it, but I digress.)

Over the last couple of years I have been to a TON of weddings. Some big, some small, all promising the same thing: Unconditional Love. It's like a fairy tale, from this point on the couple will ride off into the sunset, return to the castle and live happily ever after. I don't want to rain on any body's parade, but it seldom happens like this. Instead Prince Charming and Cinderella go home and fight over bills, the cost of Prince Charming's new chariot, Cinderella's outrageous bill from her spa day, etc.

I got an email from Crystal today saying that one of her friends (that got married less than 2 years ago) has left her husband. I think that runs the total of friends with failed marriages to 4 (at least since we tied the knot 3 years ago). To be honest, it sucks. I don't know why it happens, but everyone always says the same thing: "It's been like this for a while."


It's not like you didn't see it coming.

Maybe I'm lucky. Crystal and I work opposite shifts and I work a lot of weekends, so we don't see enough of each other to fight. When we do get time together it's special. We're not together enough to get on each other's nerves.

I can't ever see myself leaving Crystal. She's the best thing that has ever happened to me. She makes me laugh even when I really don't want to. She makes me forget about whatever might be stressing me out or getting me down. She blows me away with how thoughtful she is. She makes me want to read my Bible and spend time in prayer. AND she is so incredibly talented that she brings home the biggest paycheck. (that's a shot to the male ego!)

I've heard the divorce rate is just as high among church-goers as it is among non-church-goers. Is that how it should be? Probably not, but we're all screwed up just the same. Doesn't matter if you go to church every Sunday or not, we're all messed up. You'd think that having God as the centre of the relationship would bode well for the success of the marriage, (and it probably does), but how many of us really have God at the centre? How many of us try to serve our spouse like Jesus would? Probably not many. I know that isn't case with my own marriage. Sure we try to put God first and serve each other, but sometimes selfish AJ comes out and he's not really into watching Extreme Home Makeover or taking the dog out to pee. Luckily I have a very patient wife, and we manage to work through problems when they come up.

I've been told to avoid using the word "never", but I can honestly say I am SO thankful for the gift I have been given in Crystal and I never want her to leave my side. She's the best thing that's happened to me, and I want her with me as I journey through life.

1 comment:

  1. A bunch of my friends have failed marriages too. "For better or for worse" sounds nice but unfortunately people grow apart without realizing it. Then, one day, they are no longer "one" but two people who are like roommates. The key is to do stuff together so you stay together.