Incomplete

When I look at this picture I have all sorts of feelings.

Happiness.

Love.

Hope.

Thankfulness.

But also stress, worry, pressure and to be honest, I feel like a failure.

She deserves something better. A husband that looks like Brad Pitt, is as smart as Steve Jobs, as funny as Will Ferrell, as kind and loving as Mother Theresa, and someone that knows what they are doing.

But that's not why I feel like a failure at times. It's because I'm failing in what God has called me to do. I'm called to lead... no... propel her into a deeper relationship with Christ. A relationship that is dangerous, radical, unpredictable and unlike the life we live right now.

I often lose sight of this. I think if we have a nicely furnished house, 2 cars in the driveway and an overall feeling of safety and security then I'm doing alright. But truth is it's so much more than that. If we aren't actively advancing the cause of Christ then we are living far below potential. If we aren't helping people encounter God, then we're not cutting it. If we go to church on Sunday, raise our hands in worship, put a cheque in the offering, but fail to engage our neighbours who have never had an encounter with God, then we are failing.

God has blessed me with an incredible wife. One who selflessly gives of herself and loves me so much more than I could ever imagine. It is my duty as a husband to lead her into the kind of life that is uncomfortable. One that makes most Christians feel uncomfortable. It is my duty to refuse to settle for a "normal" life, and to strive towards a life that makes an impact for the kingdom.

I like the way Mark Batterson puts it: "don't accumulate possessions, accumulate experiences."